The Station of the invisible |
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The last time I saw him, he was penning these hazy thoughts. It was probably only seconds ago, but time is dizziness even when one pens it onto the face of a watch. I broke my stopwatch for him to draw nearer. He glazed me into stillness, matting me as if in preparation for a frame. My predecessors either wore veils or were hastened toward turmoil at the sight of him. He heaved silence-years out of our encounter and whispered like a breeze, “Each silence-year is like a thousand of yours.” Then he sucked up the ink from my notes and introduced himself as the Omniscient. I laughed until tears washing away my choked surprise as well as the title of my writing. What does he know that I don’t? “What is there to know once you meet me?” he retorted. “You are larger than my thoughts,” I penned while watching my lips tremble uttering his name. “Wrong,” he said, “you are simply getting smaller. Soon, even your breath will outweigh you and your shadow will outpace you.” I hate to lose weight because of the size of my interlocutor. I penned this grim outlook and sheltered it with a period. “Why the period?” he asked. “Nothing ends down below except life.” “That’s enough to kill a sentence.” I penned again more notes, aware he was watching; I noted my ill ease taking the shape of distress. “I am the omniscient and I am telling you not to bury birds, be they pigeons or crows.” I held my quill right between me and his voice, keeping only one eye open, taking aim over the pen’s sharp tip as if to pierce him. “How can a lack sharpen one’s sight?” he asked, as he passed a hand over my notes and added, “The horizon that expands blinds those who watch it. Isn’t that ridiculous?” He then disappeared like a breeze, as when one falls asleep unexpectedly. My notes remained as placed on my scroll, as if uncertain whether they too should disappear, or not. I forgot to ask him about the length of one silence-year. He might have said, “Like a thousand of yours,” offering just an approximation. I don’t even know how long one of our years really is. I count my years backwards, and never tally the resulting numbers. Why would I wish to know how many years I have left? The one who can see the end never looks for the beginning. My notes fell dead before my eyes. I could salvage only a few letters; the bulk had already gone. I have no memory of what I meant to say; nor do I remember the shapes of the characters that I had already penned. My vision of him shuffled even the possibility of meaning. Did I really see him? I will always wonder how much of the visible world I can see, and how often and for how long I can remember its features. To all seekers of truth, let it be known that there is no god but the reader. © Karim Chaibi 2006
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